At the airport

Seeing through the glasses

there are little planes outside

which I am going to fly in one hour time

Yes, I am now waiting for boarding in front of Gate 4

at Kuching International Airport

Somehow, there is mixed feeling

A feeling of excitement for the coming work

This is pro part;

Yet, there is another feeling haunted me now

which is cons part

I think everyone from Peninsula of M'sia

or even in other country

would have a sense of missing home, for sure

The feeling is further enhanced when

you see a plane flying in the air, or

the condition like me now, sitting at the airport, or

maybe whenever people say 'airport' - kinda sensitive person

Hopefully, this 'Journey to the East' would be a great and a wonderful one.

Reasons

People keep asking me: 'Why you don't want to go Sarawak?'

'It is such a nice place'

'Think positively, accept it'

'You can try new life there'

'It isn't that bad as you think'

.......just to name a few

Well,

I can say I'm not that kind of coward person

which doesn't dare to try new things

Perhaps, I survived in Kelantan during my clerkship

To be posted in Sarawak,

I would say it is FATE

Here come I reveal the mystery behind my unwanted feeling about going there

I would sum up that all of the reasons are related to the precious TIME and

for sure, MONEY

You might say: 'Well, you can earn a lot if you work there with the extra allowance'

But the question is how well can the so-called allowance covers my expenses

I would like to know the answer

Let's look at my little 'annual budget' for 2011:

1)

Flight (two ways) - Dec2010 (Brother's engagement ceremony) : RM600

- Interview for USM Scheme for postgraduate study: RM600

- Course for USM Scheme after interview succeed: RM600

- Feb2011 Chinese New Year : RM600

- Mac2011 Gold Medal Award Giving Ceremony: RM600

ILETS - English test for postgraduates study: RM570 (might be more expensive in East M'sia)

2)

Expenses on settlement in working place: RM600

Monthly room rental fee: RM500 x 12

Monthly expenses: RM300-400 x 12

Monthly money sends back to Mum: RM1000 x 12

Kuok Foundation loan: RM150-180 x 12

I guess the number tells you the story.

Just look at the part 1,

I need to spend about 4k on flights and test

Who can support me?

Not to say about the part 2

Till now, you may say: 'How come you judge everything by money?'

Yet, it is true, somehow

However, it would not be the main problem

A bigger problem is TIME

I gonna waste time a lot

for travelling back for those interview and course

for delaying the time changing from PRP (Provisional Registered Pharmacist) to FRP (Full RP)

And it is hard to take leave simply,

as you know I am 'new comer'

And waste energy as well

being tired for sure

as travel a lot on boring plane or bus

Of course, if I am giving a chance,

I would like to have my PRP practice over West M'sia, at least

My plan to travel to Japan next year might spoil

as money is going to be spent on those mentioned above

For those REASONS,

I am reluctantly to go East M'sia

I hope people will not misunderstand on this matter in future

Who am I?

Though this may not be my first time to feel like this

It was annoying

Maybe I am not good in ‘hiding’ my feelings sometimes

I just want to express it purposely

Yet, I know it may not be the correct way to show someone innocent your bad temper

Sorry, if I hurt you accidentally

I know I am this type of people

I have tried to accept myself for being like this

but in vain

And I believe I will continue to act like this, anyway

I loss control somewhere

Everyone wants to be perfect

Sometimes little stuff would enough to ‘kill’ me

I did lost my confidence and spirit

And I lost my mind for sometimes

People say:

You must have a high EQ instead of IQ

Or at least achieve some balance, somehow

I think I am not of any type mentioned above

However, I would say: a mediocrity for me

Not being the high IQ type

yet, not being the kinds of low EQ group

and I learn to not to overwhelm by ‘devil’ in everyone mind

I believe everyone is learning with me at the same time

Just that I would mistreat myself as ‘novice’ every times ‘bad temper’ visits me

which make me a de trop person,

sometimes not in other eyes

but in my own eyes

Our memory

我们的回忆 from daylonfu on Vimeo.

Wait

Since when I was informed to wait,

and wait

and wait.

I don't know whether it is a wise

and right decision

to go for the appealing of my posting state

even for now

Am I regret?

Don't really feel that

but as long as there is hope

I should go for it.

Hopefully,

there is good news

for the great effort of me for WAIT-ing

Raining

It is raining

outside

My tears is falling

from my eyes

with the same tempo

as rainfall

'When would you stop raining?'

So I would follow you

to stop

BIG DAY

A Big Day

Tossing my little purple hat

symbolised I was graduated

Yet, not to forget to have a great jump

with my junior, Su Ee

And this is called as

'Sexy Back'

Last but not least, natural posing with family

Mum, Me & Brother

End.